Dog Vs Postman!

Why is it that postman deliver so early to homes that have dogs? 7:30 on a Saturday morning is too early to be woken by a crazed animal flying down the stairs to bark at the door! I'm sure the postman came later when I didn't have a dog. Do they make a note of all the 'dog' households and make sure they are first on the list for deliveries? Is it a case of 'I have to be up and working at stupid o'clock on a Saturday so I'll make sure you all get up too'? Somethin should be done - a new law perhaps. Is a lie-in too much to ask for??

Part Dog, Part Homing Pigeon!

It's true - Minnie is Part dog, part homing pigeon. It doesn't seem to matter where she gets taken for her walk, she not only knows when she's reached the half-way point, but also the quickest route home! Maybe she's not as thick as we originally thought!!
She is also developing another of her, until now, undiscovered skills - she can clear a room in seconds with her toxic gas. She was always more of a belcher than farter, but no more aparently!! It's amazing as I can't put it down to the food she eats as she practically lives on fresh air - food is not desired!! So how does she manage to produce such foul and odourous wind?? If you know the answer to this question or more importantly the cure for the aformentioned affliction, please let me know.